It's been almost a week since I found out I'm pregnant.  It still doesn't feel real at all.  I called my doctor and scheduled an appointment for Dec 7.  Until then she's having me do blood work every few days to make sure my levels are raising properly.  I know I got a positive test, but a big part of me just expects nothing to be in there when it comes time for our appt.  But I keep telling myself, I haven't had any spotting or any reason to think it nots there anymore, so I must still be pregnant.  Last time I could feel that it wasn't going to last, and this time I don't feel that, but I can't help but worry because of our past experiences.  I guess the only thing that can assure me it's not gonna be the same is time passing and the buy continuing to grow and be healthy.  Every time Brian talks about it he says babies.  Plural. I asked him if he really thinks it's twins and he says no, but he can't seem to stop referring to it as them.  There is a strong chance it's twins, and while twins would be fun, and I'd appreciate the gift of two babies, I'm praying for one, lol.  But God knows what we can handle.  It's hard even thinking of it as a baby.  I think I'm so worried of growing attached and losing it again that I'm not letting myself feel it.  Which is sad.  I wish I was naive and could talk about it like it's a for sure thing.  But I can't.  I feel stupid even thinking some things because i know our chances.  Like I said, I'm soo VERY hopeful, but I'm trying not to get excited.  I'll be able to relax a little after our first appt, because by that point I'll have already made it further this time than last time.  Please grow little baby, I want to meet you!!

So... I'm pregnant!  I just found out Monday.  I'm trying not to get too excited, but I'm still really hopeful.  Cross your fingers!