I think I've given up. We're at the end of our third cycle and I'm just not feeling it. I had the best follicle ever this cycle (2.7 cm!) but I never even got a positive ovulation test. So who knows what happened to that little guy. Ive talked with Brian and we've agreed to go through the full 6 cycles, but I'm really just kinda going through the motions at this point. I'm not expecting anything. And I probably should be paying much closer than I am. I mean, we're still spending the money so I might as well no waste it and make the effort. But it's soo hard. I'm just done. I could have a baby or not have a baby and it would just all be the same to me at this point. Which is horrible. But it's been almost 3 years. I can't handle much more :( I'll be starting my next cycle sometime in the next week. I'll always have that little bit of hope, but the expectation is just gone. This is a really sucky and long and depressing ride to be on. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be learning, but all I feel is loss.

Alright. Cycle #3 follie check was today. I had a bunch of little ones on the right ovary and 1 massive one on the left measuring 2.7 cm. Amazing!!! So now we just pray it ovulated and we catch it :) but if we can't hit this I think were just outta luck. I mean, it's huge! So fingers crossed for the weekend!